Thats so sad. your a really good writter though.

Im not sure how to respond to that... it holds so much soul and feeling in its writing that a comment cannot describe how great it really is...

That was really amazing...it is very sad but you controled your feelings and vened them out along the poem... it was very good
keep up the writing

xoxo

This is amazing, it gave me chills.

Wow, very awesome poem. very real and touching. All the poems I have read of yours are very good.

Very sweet and you have some great language. Try working a bit more with your rhythm though.
kep it up and thannks for your comment! :)
kt

I liked this one a lot. the flow is different, and your poems are great. keep on writing, id love to read more...

This poem is unbelivable, it made me ball my eyes out. it was really sad. its like I felt you pain..for a minuite..I would like to say I love your writting it inspired me.

Jenna you are an amazing writer. keep it up I know your gunna be famous for it one day

Wow, I am stunned, such beautiful words from someone so young, it touched me in so many ways I couldn`t counnt them here. I miss my fatehr too, gone for 11 years now. You are very talented and glad you are in my club. Thanx, Timothy r

You are definately a very beautiful writer. You seem very wise and you have such a beautiful soul that shows in your poetry. NEVER stop writing, no matter what!

Take Care and God Bless,
Sarah-Joy

Hmm, I can relate to your poem, My dad did the same sort of thing to me, your poem is really good, So is your other work, I saw that you posted a comment on one of my topics on the discussion bord, and you made such a nice comment, thank you for that. I'll try the elastic band thing.

xx Ashley

And inside this hollow universe, I am lost
((I really liked these lines...very imaginative))
I prayed to God tonight, to come and take me away;
Take me to a better time, a better place,
((You broke rhyme scheme here.. or to me that's what it sounded like, anyways. =[))
I haven't seen or heard from you in weeks.
((God, how I know what this feels like [but not for my father..]))
Gone, with but one last touch,
((I loved these lines, as well..))
Always remembering, as time stands still;
That I love you Dad, and I always will.
((Completely not what I was imaging.. and I loved that you did that.. I thought 'oh boy, another lost love poem' but..Nice turn around.))

I really liked the ending.. It was a complete shocker. It brought the whole poem together and made it what it is... I'm glad it wasn't another 'lost love' poem. It would have been very cliche and I would have downrated you for it. ((Because it would have been like every other poem...))
But you did wonderfully on this topic. Good job.
xDarkSuicidex 5.5

At my soul, it began to tear.

At my soul, it began to tear

^^ I meant to comment on that but accidently didn't.

Those lines just don't sound right to me.. Something about them, I don't like.. I'd revise them, if I were you. Only a seggestion though!

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

Ok first off this poem, its meaning and it message and words were beautiful and emotional. and great. it was sad heart wretching even. it made me really like sad, my eyes glazed over.. lol. and the language was very interesting ad good as well.

But the actual poem, im sorry to say was not that well written, the rhythm was very choppy, some lines were up to 20 syllables, and the next line- which it rhymed with was only 6. this poem i think would have been much better if you hadnt tried so hard for it to rhyme, if it was a freewrite then you wouldnt have to worry about 4 lines per stanza and you could put more breaks where they were needed. or you could have some of the more equal stanzas stay as they are but adjust the others, because personally the flow made me kind of get annoyed. it was very difficult to read.

Overall with emotion+poem it would be i think a 4. i think it could be improved alot.

x.xLauren

Wow, this is amazing you are really good. I love your poems! Omg, they are just so good!

Another poem that is awesome. so much emotion, sadness. could easily make us cry, well done. so much talent.
xxxxx