Wow that was awsome b/c so many so many ppl end up commitin sucide its sad well dont be a stranger 5/5 always

kate

Very good poem 5/5 i understand all that it said

That's hard,ppl so often don't see what other ppl feel, until it's to late,
very very good poem to put that feeling to words
keep it up

I liked the poem..I wasn't to crazy about all the spelling mistakes that where made. You can fix them if you wish I just felt the need to point them out to you..

"Screams of pain.
Screams of fear.
Screams of hurt.

I screamed for help but no one came.
So I cried for help and still no one came.
So I took to conclusion that no one cared.

I wrote a note that was attached to my body.
Mom came home late that night.
and cried at the site of my body dangling from a rope.

She looked me over.
Then fell to her knees.
It was then that iI realized...

How much she cared....
Now I am sorry I wish I could take it back...
Now it is to late and she is left with my empty bed. "

There..I still gave it a five, but I thought it was just I don't know.. I didn't like it all that much..I thought you repeated My and I to much in the poem, and it just dragged me down. But I suppose it is your style of writtening and I am not going to diss it. The poem and thought behind it was understandable since I think that talking about topics like that are needed more often. I just thought there could have been more description of the poem so it might make a little more sense. But anyway. Sorry this comment is so long.

Typos Sorry So and I To much*

Not My.

Awwww.. that is soo sad, i think this is one of your better poems actually! it contained alot of emotion, and the descriptions were pretty good (you could add a few more details and adjectives though) and so was the flow.. nice write! 4/5

Sound scary i nearly did that onec th last line could hav been better 4/5

Im not to crazy bout this poem... you have better sucidal poems but you shouldnt be writing bout that anyways... you know all the people over here care bout you more than you even know and the people up in pa!!! i dont like this poem at all actually it almost made me cry!!! i love you sis!!!
xoxo kayla

LOVE the opening of this piece...incredibly powerful and moving, and creating so many emotions for the reader that it makes for a beautiful opening and I can't help but be drawn into the piece.

"i screamed for help but know one came."

^^ *No one came.

I wasn't too keen on the meaning behind this piece though..I find suicide/self harm poems somewhat cliche, and they've been done so many times that it gets kind of old.

However, I do love the imagery you put in here, along with the ending stanza, I found those to both be beautifully created and to hold so much power.

Keep writing. You have potential.