Comments : Looking Forward

  • 18 years ago

    by Melissa S. Masucci

    A couple thoughts... break up the long thing of text into a few stanzas. It's easier on the eyes and not as daunting to a potential reader to see stanzas - kind of like paragraphs instead of just a full page of text. Also, keep checking your grammar. There are a couple places that need apostrophes. Otherwise, it's very good and heartfelt.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "Love me like you did."
    should be 'loved' since the sentence started in the past tense.
    ~~~
    "When you liked to me"
    lied? instead of liked?
    ~~~
    "But why do I want you back
    When you liked to me
    About wanting me back"
    I didn't like how both of those lines ended in 'back'
    ~~~
    "All i wasnt is a second chance"
    'want' instead of 'wasn't'
    ~~~
    I liked the poem, but I thought certain stanzas were repetitive and unnecessary, and probably just present because of the overflowing emotion present. Still a good poem though.

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    I liked the last three stanza's alot! This poem was good. The flow wasn't too bad. But the emotions you expressed were very strong and bold. Great job once again. 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.