Comments : Nothing To Lose, Nothing To Gain

  • 17 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "All this pain inside of me,
    Will never go away.
    So if I shall die,
    It would only be the best for me."
    I think you should try to find a different way to end one of the lines that ends with 'me', otherwise the repitition is too detrimental to the poem.
    ~~~
    I felt like this poem also lacked details. The only thing that can keep one poem from being as cliche and bland as another is the individual details and the poetic diction that the writer uses. Try using different words! Use a thesaurus, or a dictionary. Subscribe to a word-of-the-day email thing. Insert more personal details, make it so the the poem is unique because it tells your story, but is comprehensive enough that people can make it their own.