Comments : Begging Silently

  • 16 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    Cute.
    I like how it you describe her beauty in the first stanza.
    Made me giggle.

    Hmmm I do think though that you could work on the flow a little.
    Just to help it be read easier.
    Doesn't have to have rhythm just play around with it and fix the structure.
    It could improve the tone and flow. :]