Comments : To my alien (not literally)

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    From me right now your heart is sealed
    [Is that meant to say 'for me'?]
    Life is not a fairy tale
    For my dreams will never come true
    [I liked those lines, although alot of people write about fairtytales comparing to love. I still liked it though.]
    You are not the princess that I must rescue
    Or the queen protected by my castle walls
    [I loved those lines! I thought they were different, and cool!]
    This was a pretty good poem overall, I don't really see and rocky areas, It all flowed well. You've done a great job! 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.

  • 17 years ago

    by amandaa

    Mmhhhhh...yummy.
    I really really liked this one.
    The last poem I commented had some critique about Rhyming, but this one's rhyme scheme is great;; I guess you've already improved, hehe.
    The only thing I can really think of are those darn quotation marks-- I'd watch out for those, but that's just me.
    "Imagination is our friendship
    Impossibilities it seems
    Childish stories of courtship
    Our existence but a dream

    Life is not a fairy tale
    For my dreams will never come true
    Though I try hard to prevail
    For you, I too must join this queue"

    ^^these are my favorite lines.
    Especially the "true" and "queue."
    I've never even heard the word "queue" so today I'm learning something new!
    Haha, that rhymes.
    :)
    woot.