Overall not bad at all. The first verse started very well, original ideas. It confused me slightly then when the subject changed from smoking to four leave clovers to a room in hell. You used a couple of cliche words again, blood was used twice in this. The first six lines of the bridge were very clever too, I liked those.
The twist from third to first person is an overused one too, and spoilt the ending for me. Thanks for sharing nevertheless.