Once again I like the message but it's the form. Some of those sentences, like in the first stanza second line, could be shorten. It will make it look better. You can you different woulds to make them imagine the scenery or your emotion. lol. 5/5
-Kakashi

Its good...Well I'm going to be honest with you. The flow needs to be worked on, but the rhyming is very good. Keep writing
--Shannon--

I loved the last stanza, if u could call it a stanza...u need to work on the structure and grammar...i wanna focus on the poem, not on the symbols and words i cant make out...other than that i liked it alot and the feeling was definetly there. great going,
love ya lots,
sore