This poem was really sad and nothing felt forced. Yay! I like how you used different rhymes instead of always having the usual. The only thing I'd suggest is maybe take out the word that. It'll make yur sentences stronger.

You already know what I think about this poem, so a wonderful job. I liked the stanza you added, it was just as strong and the others. So much for being brain dead. Lol, awesome stuff Nat.

This is really sad but its a good poem tho. Keep ur head up and hang in there.

Good job, well done

My lips are sealed with feelings that I can't display,
And though all the pain remains the same; I'm okay.

great ending...

Woo, Talee, this is awesome. i love it.

you are an -amazing- writer, and i love you to pieces.

keep up the fantabulous work, mmk?

and i AM always here for you. please remember that.

E>

Really good poem huni. I loved the slight cyptic phrases, made it really interesting and powerful.
Thanku so much for your comment.

Taleeeee! awww.. i've missed you and your poetry so much! it felt so nice just to read one of your poems again.. this brought not just one but many tears to my eyes.. as with all of your poems, the emotion just oozes out.. your rhymes were perfect and with every line you wrote came meaning.. wonderful work! 5/5 as usual!

Nice little poem. ^_^ thanks for the comment on mine. now.. about this one... reminds me of a castle... being opened to only V.I.P's... ^_^ descriptive... and reminds me of one of my older poems... just can't remember which..

I like the ending
it seemed a bit confused.
maybe thats how you were feeling or wanted that to show.
i dunno.
5/5
it was a good poem.
but some of the rhymed seemd a bit forced and other times it wasnt there at all.
~emah

U dont need to improve this! its perfecto!
xoxo courtz

Awww that was very sad hun...but it was really really good..I loved the ending it really pulled the whole thing together the rhythm and flow was great..you did a great job on it, it was amazing! 5/5

NATALiE!!!!!
Oh wow, this was really good! I loved the rhyming and the flow was absolutely perfect. This is definitely one of my favorite poems that you`ve ever written. The theme was great, too. I almost don`t even know what to say, this was soo great. Ever consider being published? Yeah, I think you should do it! You`re such a great writer =D And you`ve been on my favorites list for like, the whole time I`ve been on p&q!
Well great job, I really don`t have much more to say. This was such a great poem, keep this up!!

Love Much,
Samantha Hollywood

Oh how I can relate to this especially the lines

My lips are sealed with feelings that I can't display,
And though all the pain remains the same; I'm okay.

they really stood out to me.
The whole thing is eloquantly written. Love it.

This is the second poem of yours that I've read, and I think they are amazing. Honest and dark... kind of angsty. I found absolutly nothing to critique :)

Wow!O my goodness!I don't know what to say- seriously!I think...it's just amazing!I haven't read that good of one in a long time!Thank you!

Another great one... I'm impressed.

These were my favorite lines:

"Smiles painted on beautifully like a piece of art,
While feeling the torture of being ripped apart."
"My lips are sealed with feelings that I can't display,
And though all the pain remains the same; I'm okay."

5/5 once more.

~ Tina

The words in this are beautiful...they flow incredibly and take me to a place where I feel the same. Its written to prefection.

Much Love,
Jordan-Paige

You dont understand how much this reached me.

My parents have just discovered all my pain and hidden life by coming across poems in my room

This honestly describes EVER emotion i'm feeling.. and felt

it brings tears to my eyes because for this first time in my LIFE.. i feel like im not alone!

you are a beautiful poet.. please keep it up!

much love & respect ~ Kylie

Hey sweeti... this is yet another perfect beautiful poem... luv it [xx]

kissers n cuddles

Thats is an amazing poem! i loved it! keep it up :)

Samey