Like I said on the other site. This stunned me. And I learned new words! Tehe. It was great, Kaylee. I hope you know that. Sometimes it sucks though, cause I never have anything to say in my comments. I'm always saying the same thing, lol. But you already know what I think of this, it's a wonderful write, just keep on writing, mmkay? 5/5
This was definitely an improvement in my mind from the last poem I read. The flow of this just seemed to work better, and the fact that nothing rhymed was nice too. I think you definitely did a great job on this ;; keep it up! Thanks much for posting in my thread! 5/5
Wow Kaylee, you poems have matured alot over the past few weeks. I have noticed that. You are definitely learning a lot more and you are using it well. This was a really deep poem and you really used the perfect words. You have an amazing talent in combining words. Awesome stuff.
I really liked this poem, it was very different than the stuff I normally read and I appreciate this. Your word choices were emaculate (sp?). The only thing I can criticise on is instead of putting all the periods before "Hush. It's our secret." and "We must never tell." I think that it would look a little bit better if you decided to put them in brackets instead. Other than that I loved this poem. Way to go
Excellent job, if a person really tries to think more on the deeper side, they'll be able to get what you're talking about.
To me: it's a poem about broken love
"Crude unadorned skin
Thirst craved fingertips"
-Reminds me about lust
Mourned crestfallen sight,
Lacerated soul distressed,
Blackout-Lost recollection (memories that cause sadness and joy)