Comments : Confessions (From Myself)

  • 13 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    I think it is good as u started it, but if it is novel you should go into more detail of your sixth grade, why your life begen from then?
    you have some details but for a novel it is not enough.
    keep the good job and take care

  • 13 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    It's not bad... It's not much of an eye catcher though. I LOVE reading and if I were to pick up a book and read these first few lines, I'd put it down; it didn't grab my attention. I hate to sound so awful, but I'm only trying to help... Take care.

    xDarkSuicidex

  • 13 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    It's not bad... It's not much of an eye catcher though. I LOVE reading and if I were to pick up a book and read these first few lines, I'd put it down; it didn't grab my attention. I hate to sound so awful, but I'm only trying to help... Take care.

    xDarkSuicidex

  • 13 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    5/5.. You Really got me into it. Keep Writing on that Novel!

  • 13 years ago

    by Natalie

    Mmyup. I like this. Keep writing it Sam. Tehe. It sounds really interesting, actually it reminds me of me. Lol.. So yeah. I thought you've done a great job so far, Just keep on writing it. =P I'll be looking forward to reading more. =D Tehe. 5/5

    Natalie``

  • 13 years ago

    by Dana

    Interesting start, I can see this turning into an abstract novel. or maybe stream-of-consciousness...that would be really cool. Or I might just be saying this because I just finished an excellent abstract novel :) hee hee but it is a great start, it has an excellent hook. So good luck with your novel! 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Tammie

    Hey i think that sounds like a really interesting book, i would read it..
    oh and i also wanted to say thanks for the comment you left me. im glad you actually comment on it, with good and bad points, thank you. its really appreciated.. keep up the great work.
    Much Love,
    Tammie

  • 13 years ago

    by Nelle

    Samanthaaaaaa omgggg now i want to know....You have got to finish this..it is great so far..it is teling a great story..I can tell already it's going to turn out great!! 5/5

  • Good job, for an opening well paragraph to a novel its good but try to make it flow better, choose words that relate well and that set eachother off... kind of well converstation starters, that will really drag people in and hook them

    Keep it up
    Bri

  • 13 years ago

    by Deaths Maiden

    I think it needs to be more descriptive.
    I know you have only just started but for you to pull a reader in it needs to be captivating right from the start.
    It sounds like it's going to be a good story nonetheless but a story must have description and needs to be explained more, for example if your life all started in the 6th grade, what about your life what kind of life did you hold? Were you loved or hated? Did you go through despair? Were you happy?
    Readers would question this, must not leave people hanging, it teases them lol.
    Good luck with it anyway, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh but I'm being honest.
    You have to be cruel to be kind.
    Take care, much love and hate.

  • 13 years ago

    by Darien

    Hey Samantha,
    if you need help editting your 'story' I can help. Just send me a word document and I will make all the changed on that. I've done it for a few people, and hopefully they'll be giving me credit if they ever get it published!

    Hmm, this poem does make an interesting story. 152 IQ, wow, that's great! I believe the average is 108 or something? I should do an IQ test. Good poem/story.

  • 13 years ago

    by Driver

    To be honest, i would read the novel. and i know how it feels to try and be 3 diff ppl, not a good combo. i like your writing, ill be looking foward to more. and thank you for the comments.
    Driver

  • 13 years ago

    by Biscuit

    This could do with being a bit more descriptive i think, really dig deep into each 'side' of you write about a paragraph about each one...i know u would be adding to them later in the book, but just four or five lines here would be good and errr... y do u have double semi-colons?? :s

    finally... the begining is very direct which in a way is good as u are straight into the story, but i think it would be good if u gave a bit more information about 'urself' and ur life before sixth grade, just a small paragraph, to introduce the character and explain (briefly) y u dont think ur life started until then...

    i hope the novel comes together for u, im sure it will be great :)

    -biscuit-

  • 13 years ago

    by Candice

    I liked the begining, I personally think you have to be more descriptive with the begining, but I would totally read it. It's sounds like one of the books I wouldn't be able to put down. Good Job and Good luck with your novel!

  • 13 years ago

    by Ashleigh

    Good job..this is perfect!! it kind of reminds me of myself~~~in several different ways....keep up the good work...and if u do write the novel.....i would LOVE to read it......u seem more than just a poet....u could be a wonderful novelest..... "5 props"

    Ashleigh

  • 13 years ago

    by Jasmyn

    This was good

  • 13 years ago

    by Bitt3rSw33t

    Well, let me put it this way....I'm interested to know the rest...You got me curious....good work...

  • 13 years ago

    by silence

    It's very good. It pulls people in and makes them think about themselves. If your audience connects with what your writing they're more likely to be pulled in by it. But you should go more into what happened in sixth grade that made you that way. Otherwise your readers will be wondering that the whole book. Or maybe use flashbacks throughout the book. that would be cool. anyway good job!!

  • 13 years ago

    by Eibutsina

    Well Samantha though this may not be a poem as such it tells a story, it captivates you and its easy for the majority to relate to. It was actually like taking a step back in time for me, it was an accurate description of my time growing up - in part anyways. A really good write darling I'm waiting with baited breath to read more!

  • 13 years ago

    by Mommy And Me

    It says things started in the 6th grade but then you are at 7th grade... i think you need to extend on 6th grade for the first chapter of your novel. and then move on out about the three sides you have formed into.