Your metaphors are pretty good for such a short poem, with my favorite involving pleasure and doubt being combined as one. Ss you can say your descriptions and imagery were well done. You might want to check out having question and questions so close together but otherwise it's good.

Wow, Noni. That was really sad. I hope you're alright. I'm here if you need me, kay? The poem was great though, even if you think it's not your best, it was still great. You used good word choice too. Loved it. 5/5

Natalie``

Very nicely done, I say.. This isnt a 4.0 by far! This was beautiful...

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

Wow Noni, you really did a good job on this poem. I'm surprised the rating on it is so low :(

This was a really sad poem, it started out that way, and it ended that way.

Hey congrats on gettin h/m in my contest...i hope u dun mind what poems i do. anyway, i loved this! it was just WOW! i loved the detailing. it painted a picture...5/5

This was good

I think it really should have went on longer and that you should have put more emotion into it......... The flow was good, as well as the structure!

-AnnMarie

Actually this is a great poem! It's perfect!

I liked this poem. It was sad but well put together. nice job!

Awh Noni. That's really well written. I liked it. The flow and feeling was great. Well...the flow was great. When I read it I felt really sad, but it was very well done.