I liked the last line. and it was all very well written. very dark.. very black. I liked it : ) Love you Emma, hopefully i'll see you soon, if i can get over this Flu.
-Suzie
xox

Wow, great poem, my favourite stanza:

"The softest kiss I'd ever known,
Yet a coldness maimed with dark,
The roses nestled upon her chest,
When the angels were to hark,"

just really stood out. congrats, 5/5

This is a very deep poem but i like it keep up the good work!

Awww! I loved this! Absolutely amazing! Just.. amazing.

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

A great effort, you tell the tale very clearly and know what you want to convey.

I think you can improve by adding a finite meter to your prose though. You form a solid stanza but do not stick to a set syllable count which can really help the flow of your work.

For the next two or three poems I would suggest that you stick to eight syllables a line, four lines per stanza and four stanzas to the poem.

I thin it will help you get to grips with flow and form.

Great poem.

Bret

Wow.. that gave me chills. Great job on this! My favorite stanza was:

I cried the tears of a thousand men,
Swore never to love again,
I caressed her limp hand once more,
And felt the drenching of no rain,

I loved that part... it really stood out to me. You did a really good job on this. The rhyming was really good and held up well. 5/5

Aw how sad:( im so sorry!!!!! ahhhh that's so sad:(!! i cant get over it..haha anyway great work..enuff said. 5/5

I cried the tears of a thousand men,
Swore never to love again,
I caressed her limp hand once more,
And felt the drenching of no rain,

^^I loved that stanza, especially the first two lines!

Again, I have nothing bad to say, I'm liking your poems quite abit, they've got nice imagry, nice flow, rhyming, vocab. Just keep on writing, Emah, you've got some great talent!

Natalie``

P.S. I'm sure I've done 6 or 7 now. I'll start on the rest shortly, kay?

Oh My God. I LOVED IT. This is one of the most amazing poems I've ever read... Such a unquie (Spellin?) exciting way to explain death! I loved it! Simply amazing!

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

This poem should NOT be a 4.4...You should definately be higher, just remember that. Be proud of this piece.