This is really interesting. I like it.

I would recommend, though, that if you want more people to read it you should divide it into stanzas or verses. It would look less sloppy and easier to read, even though I already like it.

~Scarlett

Wow...strike me down and don't look at my eyes while you kill me..just tell me you love me..it's beautiful

This was amazing! I liked how it was different than most poems you see on this site. It was a nice change in style.

Awesome images!! Great poem keep up the good work!

~Darkness