I already left a mega-comment on your other poem, so i'll keep this one shorter ; ). you seem to have a real ability to make these poems smooth and natural. i love the repetition of the last lines in this one. cool stuff!

I liked this one, the repetition was a good idea, it really caught my eye. Very powerful. 5/5 =]]

-Jenna.

I agree with the others the repition adds emphasis and adds to the feel of the poem.very good.