"Happiness called in sick again today
With news of a suffering consequence"

Very sad and creative. I would have never thought of that. Keep it up

It made me think. it hav a meaning as well as a lesson. the ending has a lot of emotion. keep writing:)

Wow, that was amazingly written and had so much emotion put into it. You did a great job, it was definitely sad, that's for sure.

You shattered as it beat for the last time

^^That line might work better if you had beats instead of beat. ;P

Very sad poem though, Darien!! ...It made me remember things from ages ago.. Tehe. It was nicely done though. I loved it heaps!! Keep it upppp! 5/5

Natalie``

WOw all my timy arm hairs stood up i cant describe what i felt when i read your poem Its as if i felt the pain in the words..very creative

Wow this was so we;ll written
it was safd but i liked it
u truly hava talent hunny xxx

Now suffer with these tears you shed for him
Your life has become a beacon of emptiness

^amazing. I loved this poem, so much emotion, powerful.

OMG i love this poem so much. Woah. It gave me such a weird feeling. I love it. Omg im in love with this poem so much. Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah, an amazing poem. You have a great use of vocab and excellent expression of emotion. I LOVE these two lines:

Happiness called in sick again today
With news of a suffering consequence.

Amazingly clever. I definately can't wait to read more! =] 5/5 No doubt.

As Noni had said,
[Happiness called in sick again today
With news of a suffering consequence]
^^Those lines were brilliantly thought up, and unique.

This is quite a sad topic, and it looks like you're dealing with something. Maybe not, but it sounds like you had the emotion in this poem to prove it. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

I lived ur poem and ur way of writing and imagery
i want to read other poems like these
keep then up!

*claps* ^.^

That was such a good poem so much emotion and feeling put into words i wish i could write like that but my poems are short because i can't stand writing down my feelings in such an intense way well anyway keep up well done x xxx

A different view point and I like how you make the reader involved by using the word you. It feels like you're accusing them which is actually interesting. I really don't know what to say. You know what I think about your poems. I love the vocab and the descriptions.

Kaylee

Stunning. That's all I can say.

I really liked how this poem reads-- almost like a story. The last stanza is especially good, a lot of symbolism. The title really works well with the poem-- it captures interest and describes it well. I enjoyed reading this-- nice work! 5/5

Great poem, awesome job

Wow that got me down, very good, im assuming you mean the call you get when someone dies , one of the most vivid memories of a death you do not witness first hand, very good

I really can relate to this poem. I can feel the pain and sorrow, too. I like it. Keep the great work up.

-Carrie-

WOW...this was amazing, it was kind of like a story as well, but it was still very good.