I really like this one! The imagery is excellent. The flow could be a little better, but I still enjoyed reading it.

Nice work!

Ooo. Great message here! I really liked how you made life sound as if it was like spiders eating you inside out. Great job. =)

The flow could be improved a bit, possibly by making the lines shorter or longer. But other than that, it was pretty good. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

Ok, that was awesome to read. Lol. Great imagery, I kept picturing the poem in my head. Great job with this one! :) Loved it! Keep it up! 5/5

Innoc3ntStar

I really like the imagery in this poem. I have no idea how to improve it because its great the way it is. This was a great read and i really liked how it was written! Keep them up you write great! xx

I really like this. Your imagery is very well written, it gave me shivers thinking about spiders crawling up her neck. lol. I really like it. I can't think of any way to improve it. Great work. =]

I think this should be under dark poems!! It was really good though it creeped my out;; spiders ewwww.. but The imagery was written very well.
Rachel

I think that you shoudve added some kind of meaning to this poem. it was a ittle creepy, but original. i think you should add more depth, smething more about amybe the ebauty of the girl? like, was she popular and everyone loved her? why her, and what does it mean?

Awh, wow. That was very interestingg. The flow was pretty good, the descripitons were amazing and they created good imagery. Very creeppy, definetely gave me chills. Nicely done 5/5

I feel this poem is too short for the concept chosen. I am not able to clearly make out whether this is a horror plot or a poem about life comparing spiders to life's hardships as someone above has mentioned. But I feel it is more oriented towards horror, since it is under dark poems and not under poems about life.

Still, the title does not exactly suggest any concept and teh poem begins abruptly and the description of the concept it not at all there inthe poem. Though that one stanza is quite powerful in describing your vision, I feel the ending is too plain.
I feel that you should have atleast 3 more stanzas to add to this, and manipulate the horror and broaden your storyline. e.g: You can have one stanza purely describing the girl's fear on contact with those spiders. This stanza does not speak about the girl's feelings at all. You can have a stanza that explains these spiders and their network or the like. If you want you can also have a stanza where after facing so many horrific moments, evrythingturns out to be a daydream or a dream of the girl or such thing.

The integrity of the stanza is god but as I said since the beginning is very abrupt and ending too plain I could not even think of detecting the flow of the concept. Vocabulary is also quite plain.

I love this poem. I don't think that you should change anything about it. The descriptions were very easy to visualize and very dark and creepy. The flow and rhythm was very good and held up well. I loved the last line, it really brought the whole poem together and gave it a very nice ending. Great job on this! 5/5

5/5. It kinda scared me sh*tless. Now I'll feel like i have Spiders up on my neck cuz im goin to bed after I finish ur poems!

I have to agree with you that there is something not quite right. I liked the imagery and could really imagine the scene almost like watching a film.
I think maybe if you could add abit to the begining to kind of lead up to this scene perhaps? To me it comes across as I missed something and have picked up the story half way through.

Wow that was great, it seemed at first the girl was dead but alive, dead on the inside maybe but in a living body. It is beautiful, a bit odd but none the less beautiful.

Hehehe awsome!
but I can never seem to write stuff like this!