Wow sez... really really gud.. i love it....

Jus knw i always here 4 u sez... i love it... love you.. mwah

Your rhythm's a little off because of the differences in syllables line to line, but overall i really did enjoy this poem. It was very understandable, very realistic, and very sad.
Loved this stanza...
They softly fall
And pierce through my heart
They glisten beautifully
But rip me apart

Enjoyed!
Charisma*