Some better language would improve it. but its freaky. i love it. haha!

Very good...I really like it. didnt u have a dream like this? Well thatd explain the name lol

Id add a semi-colon (;) instead of a comma in the first stanza after "eyes". also after wall, same stanza, and a period after "me" and "dark".

Second stanza needs a semi-colon after "left" and a period after "spinning".

Third stanza is perfect, except you need to hit enter after knife.

The last staza should have a semi-colon after skin. And "All Over" would sound better as "to". Also i would put "Hoping" on the next line, so the phrase is one line.

Hey ur gd for a boy its not that boys dont write but ya they write but silly things but urs its gd keep on writting

bleeding-angel

Whoa sounds like Saw! cool poem