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I liked that. It could maybe have been a little more developed though. Maybe if you added in extra words to make your lines longer, instead of so short and to the point. Draw it out to help increase the emotions.
It was a good shot, anyway. =]
Yes i agree with hiddenxsoul mabye if you made the lines longer it would have more of a meaning but it was a good poem
by leanne woodward
Thanks for your comments I think this poem is good and itisexactly the way I feel to.