It was good. A little on the overused subject side in my opinion, but I know a lot of other people like this sort of thing.
I liked your choice of words on the first lines of the first and fourth stanza.
I see what you were trying to do with the repetition, I just think you may have over done it a bit, especially at the end.

Overall it was good, I just you need to cut back on the repetition a little. Thanks for sharing.

Its good. itd prolly be better as a song.

This is really good, you can really tel that it's kinda song lyrics, it may sound batter as a song but its great as a poem also nice job 5/5

I really liked that. It's good that you said it was meant to be a song, but I really think those words work well as lyrics. That's why I enjoyed the repitition. I think it worked well with this.

Good job.

OMG...thats so good....*hugs you*
i heart you, love

The past is near
but the future's forsaken...

thas a thing that reminds me of myself tho... but ok..
its a rlly good poem =)

This is SO good. I love it.

Love, Gracie Heims