This is really a good poem! Excellent job!

Lets just say you have the gift for rythming, I could never rythm worth crap. Good job and keep up the good work.

I like it, nice flow and rhymes and good message. With that said, I can't say the message is too terribly original, however true. If you could go about saying it in your own way, giving it a twist that shows your originality. Maybe some imagery or something. And Personally I'm not much a fan of rhyming unless done with a lot of skill, and these are very basic rhymes. Good job though..