Comments : Sunshine

  • 17 years ago

    by x.Athame.x

    A very nice write. The descriptive words really add to this piece, making it a powerful poem. I love the concept, and how you conveyed this message through your words. I think that you need to get a more consistent rhyme scheme, however, it would really add to this write. I liked these lines,

    "It's vigorous rays casted down upon me
    Warmthening my heart as sweet as can be
    Casting the very light that enables me to see
    Dissolving my grudges and setting my burdens free"

    Very powerful. Hope to see more of your work soon, best wishes and blessed be. *5/5