It feels unfinished, like you meant to keep writing, but your flow stopped. or you meant to do it later and you couldnt. i think it needs another few lines because an abrupt ending like that doesnt complement your magnificent writing style, or th eperfect flow :)

Sounds much better now. well done on a great poem!

Well thats ok if your ok now. but if you ever need anyone just tell me. i'll be there for you.

this is a very clever poem, i need to write on bout something like this.... hmmmmm maybe i will. you gave me an idea.

5. excellent. and when i comment i also vote on the poem. not just leave it like some ppl. like how you have more comments than votes. thats whack!

David

Aww that's awesome! i love the way u word things...so peaceful to me...lol if that makes sense. but thanks for the comment on mine! ;)