No i didnt. && i will never, and i promise you that. && i DO NOT love smiley, and i never will. I Am still just as much in love wit Kevin as i have ever been and that will never change. && i know you have nothing to say your sorry about, its just me, i cant live with myself. && i dont understand how you can still love me and say you miss me. I would hate you if you did what i did to you. That is why, i fear me and you will never be friends again. && i miss you so much you know that. I even catch myself dailing your number all the time just to say im sorry. But i cant do it. Well Sorry...

Umm yeah i used to try and call you. Then i decided that maybe its better this way. Also yeah, your friends with my sis, so ask her to come pick it up. I am not coming near your house ever again, and its not because im afraid of anyone, its becuase that house is damned and i hate looking at it. && yeah i promise you i will never do it. Although i dont think i should promise you ANYTHING, and do tell, would me acutally doing smiley hurt like when you said you did kevin? If so damn, thats alot of pain. =D Ohhh welllllsssssss.

If i have to tell you again im gonna kill you. I will not f u c k smiley. so please stop talking about it. I will never do that EVER again. && also what happened is my gaia suddenly wont let me on, and it says that ive been on for the past 2 days when i cant get on, and idk, maybe you did it or not, but just to tell you. I dont care, its just pixels. && yeah, i have changed, it even scares me, it scares my mom, it scares kera. Idk. Things just changed and everything that was so important to me, it seems i lost. Everything looks different now. && idk about smiley. It hard to describe it. I wanna break up with him so bad, but when i get around him it changes and then i forget about it. && im not happy. Im never happy. I wish i was happy. I cry so much now, and i went threw 2 notebooks already, all over 2 months. It just hurts to much to know hes not coming back. && i cant handle it. So idk. && im sorry for being such a b i t c h its just, when i see you, i rememeber everything all over again and i break down, from building myself up, to just sitting and not doing anything. Well. Yeah ill tell her...ttyl.

Yeah i know. && like i said. i dont hate you. I can never hate you. =/ And yeah idk. Also...ummm well i cant remember what you wrote so....ohhhhhhh yeah i dont want you to die at all and your a great friend its me thats a horrible one. I pulled a lisa. =[ But shes happy. Ant that some s h i t. && yeah new year...ohhh boy. another one to f u c k up, and move and not see anyone ever again and do nothing everyday and have to stay inside all the time becuase ill live in stupid f u c k i n kenmore. =D Ohhh boy cant wait. && Ju, you should just give up on me and kevin. i know its gonna hurt me, but im trying to get over him. && i know hes not coming back. Which is why i see my life as pointless right now so its just watever. I still dont get it. If he loved me. Why isnt he here?

Yeah, he isnt coming back. && yeah i talked to you becuase i dont really care, and i told you im not mad at you. I dont hate you. Its kinda getting annoying to have to say that but i dont hate you. && yeah there is time to say goodbye, im not moving until march the soonest, and if i keep talking to my mom about it, i might be staying for the summer.