There are a couple of thinks I have questions about.
- do you mean "saving the prey?"
-i wouldn't use "pray/prey" twice so closely together - it sounds like an accident or lack of wordsy, more than intentional.
-do you mean "they create?"
-i think "whom" should simply be "who," though you'll want to check on that.
-and finally, i think you may have meant "on THEIR own necks," in the last line
There's good meaning and feeling in this poem, just check on a couple of things to make sure that's how you want them. Have a good day!
Although it didn't rhyme, and rhyming so happens to be my fave kind of poems, i was surprised how much i liked it. it's got it's own rhythmic quality and you certainly have a flare for understanding other poeples positions.
i really do think it was a brilliant poem. so yeah, i gave you 5/5 . oh yeah, could u vote on mine too? it would mean a lot.
thanku muchly xo
I'm sorry i must say that i loved the poem but it feels all over the place, not really complete,,like u never got ur point across or something like that,,it flows very roughly that i could not enjoy the poem as much as i wanted to,,but great wording and a good write