Comments : That one night

  • 17 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    I really love this poem, it has such an honest vibe. I know what you are trying to say, but make it blend more n the last sentence and a half. Because you read a really good poem it keeps going and then it just goes bla........ I mean sad? wheres the fabulous fantastic ending? everyone poem has to have an ending....
    eg:
    "now its here to day were i still lay,
    Thinking in my head,
    I still love her and I want to be with her,
    Even if she doesn't see,
    The best 'type' she will ever see"

    or something like that. =)
    and set your sentences out nicely........ it would make it way better
    good luck, loved it
    kac xxx