I liked the idea and the wording was brilliant, although there were a few parts I felt weren't quite right, like in the third stanza. I felt that the second line in the third stanza was too long and was too far a rhyme with the first line. Also I think you should have left out 'all' in the second line of the forth stanza...its just works better in my novice opinion. Sorry for the negatives of my comments but I do feel that everyone should share their thoughts on everyone's work, whether it be good or bad.

Brad