Comments : My own fate

  • 12 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    The poem is good, nice wording and a nice image, but the flow is a lil off, i am not perfect a lot of my poems are of to but just wanted to let you know, good poem and a great write.

  • 12 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Sorry, wasn't keen. It was following the suicide theme (and you know what I think of that). Yet, this one had forced rhyme.
    For future reference I think you should keep away from rhyme, as your free verse is stronger. Also, try some new ideas, rather than killing yourself. I've read it too much to appreciate it.

  • 12 years ago

    by x Mo x

    That was nice. The image was great. But the rhyming was forced, and the flow was a little off. I still like it a lot, but it could have been better. Good job though.

  • 10 years ago

    by Kaila

    I liked this and it's very relatable. The ending stanza was by far my favorite it summed up the poem very nicely. Nice job
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Short to the point write. I liked the rhyme and the flow of the poem. Well written for such a short write, at first I was skeptical that it was going to be too short, but you ended this very nicely not leaving it up in the air like many short poems. Nice write!

    Peace, Joe

  • 10 years ago

    by Rolo

    I think this poem would be better if the first 3 stanzas hadn't suggested perfect rhyming. It was hard to find the flow after that. Maybe this is exactly what you wanted...in which case you shouldn't take into consideration what I've said. Though I really do appreciate the content and message. I think it's a very beautiful piece, short and to the point. I enjoyed this. Nice job.

    -Rolo :]

  • 10 years ago

    by Christina Gomes

    You won me over at the very end. That's a great closing line