Nice job on your poem. I love the hope in this piece.

Perhaps this is just a scream for success and fame,
I will make it, just wait and see
That when you look up into the sky,
You will look into the happiness of me.

Take care Cindy

Wow.. spectuacular dear!! I love the message behind it, don't let anyone tell you you can't. The rythmn is superb. Great word choice. And the poem as a whole is awesome, very wonderful. Thank you for the comment, and I'll be glad to read anything of yours! 5/5 awesome job!! Keep up the great work!!
Much Love,
.:Danielle:.

Very well done, my dear. You have written of hope and faith that your endevors will e successful.

"One night I thought of this phrase that will push me forever,
Make the moon be the candy of your eye,
For even if you fail,
You will fall into the stars of the sky."

Very well stated. A true dreamer, you are. Loved the imagery and although the flow threw me at times, overall, you brought forth an insirational write.

Good Job on this.

Always,
Jeannie

Perhaps this is just a scream for success and fame,
I will make it, just wait and see
That when you look up into the sky,
You will look into the happiness of me.
^^^
Incredibly powerful ending stanza!
Loved the title, it fits the poem to a tee....
Take care deary
Luanne

Perhaps this is just a scream for success and fame,
I will make it, just wait and see
That when you look up into the sky,
You will look into the happiness of me.

Really interesting pointand i'm sorry about the titles becase they are for titled contests...
Keep it up
Laura

I really liked this poem..It showed great writing skill and I could tell what you meant by everything...
p.s. I know I'm kinda inexperianced thats why I read poems everyday from people who ahve a very high rating and out of books and everything I'm trying

The form is interesting and I can't help but feel i've seen its style many times before. That said it is certainly a fresh take on it. I found it wonderful at times and decidedly less so in others but I think that was what you were looking for wasn't it? If not its shambolic but I always felt that the subject should be tackled in a way that is not only pleasing but also confusing and i'm sure thats what you were aiming for.

Its certainly no slouch in the vocabulary department as it flows well and although newcomers, possibly hardened veterans as well may not quite find it reads smoothly, I think songwriters out there will relate well to this. Its a poem for the imagination as much as the eyes. Beautiful and yet somehow dark if you really look.

Don't believe me, read it again. Its there.

I love it.
Drusus

I love the rhyming...flows through without appearing forced. Thanks for your comment on my poem. That's my view on life...a lot of it is bitter sweet. Glad you can pick it up in my writing :) Hope things are well

Wow. I honestle felt very touched by this poem. You did great in it all and I am breath taken by your skills. I try hard to make poems, but I think you are an inspiration, because your poems have meaning and a lot of feeling. Great job!

Excellent poem, I thought it was written well and very much enjoyed the theme behind it although I don't know why you chose to rhyme all the lines in the first two stanzas but not in the second two. Anyways, it was still a good piece, I really enjoy your work! 5/5

~jas~

WOW I have only one thing to say to that. BEAUTIFUL, everything about it , wonderfully written and wording was great, just reading it made me feel like I was on clouds, great write, and a pleasure to read, keep it up,,,, your friend Tracy d
5/5

I really like poems that write two different storys but they mean and end the same thing. Ive tried it a couple of times and it ended up iffy but good poem 5.5