Comments : Mistakes

  • 17 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Awww thats excellent. you seem so desperate to have another chance. hey good poem, you have a good talent here so keep writing. take kare xxxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaila

    Hey Austin
    the beginning was a little rough I mean I didn't think it would be all that great then you hit this stanza and it changed for the better

    I want to say I love you!
    But will it be in vain.
    Will you just reject me
    because of all the pain?

    I loved that part...The beginning the reason I wasn't fond of it was because I thought the words seemed forced out so you could rhyme nice poem though
    xoxo kaila

  • 17 years ago

    by Wings Of Flames

    This is more disappointing then your first.
    3.5
    It lacked the flow and orioginialty your first one possessed.

    I hope you're others are better

  • 17 years ago

    by Sandra D

    ^wings of flames doesn't know what they're talking about...

    i love this poem, it's amazing! you're so talented... there's so much emotion in this, great job! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Kelsea

    Hm. I like the choice of words, for the most part, but...I don't know about the stanza:
    "Just wanted to make you happy
    but I did the opposite of that.
    Made you sad and angry
    and it was over just like that."
    I'm not exactly sure why I dislike it. I think it has a flow problem. Maybe take it and read it outloud to yourself, try to rework it a little bit?
    All it all, good job :]