Comments : The cleaner

  • 16 years ago

    by icarus

    I definitely didn't see where this was going at first. I enjoyed the unexpected twist though, it's a meaningful poem.
    I would try working on lines 3 and 4 though.

    he cleanse out, his job is so easy, cause he's good at it,
    he does it so fast, he's a pro, hes been cleaning for quite a bit
    The rhyming seems a little forced and the sentences seem a little simplistic. try not to use word's such as 'cause', you don't sound as intelligent. Just my suggestions and opinions. I may be wrong.