Good poem, thought it really showed deep emotion. dont be so hard pn yourself, of course people will shead a tear, altho they will all be old and grey haired as you will be. No one realises how important their life really is, and how it impacts others.
Keep going, if you ever want to talk, email me at weebie_drift@yahoo.co.uk
5/5
good job
-Black night-

Hey,
First of all thank you for your comment.
Secoundly i really enjoyed htis poem, it displayed great emotion and was very heartfelt. The rhyming was good, it didnt seem forced at any point. The overall poem creates this... feel.. i odnt know but for me it keeps me thinking about the poem after ive finished reading it. I liked your conclusion to the poem, considering the topic of the poem i think its excellently concluded. Youve got this pacific punctuation scheme going on through it, and well i dont like that bit of the poem. I thought you should ofused enjambment in some places and stuff liek that. But other then its a great read! Keep it up! xx