Comments : The Little Boy

  • 16 years ago

    by Spaz

    Very good poem....full of meaning and soul!
    ~jessica lillian

  • 16 years ago

    by Optimistcly doubtful

    Wow yoour an awsome poet!!!!! thats crazy good job thnx for commenting mine =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Sasha

    It is true things like this happen all the time and no one knows about it its a sad world we live in... your poem makes people think.. nicley written

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert

    This is a great poem with a fantastic message, but now that you have got the reader to ponder over what you said. I think you should put your own opinion on this piece close the work with the way you would want this to end or have the reader understand how they can change things. A writer's gift is not only to shine light on the wrong that being done, but its also to move people to change the world around them This is the core sense of being a great writer in my belief gerat job keep up the great work. Plot121

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    Wow, amazing! This poem is so catching and really sad. You have expressed your feelings very deeply and its just perfect. Keep up the good work.

  • 16 years ago

    by rita

    Omg wonderful poem it is true we live in a uncareing world nice work keep it up

  • 16 years ago

    by Natalie

    I was just wondering were you that little boy? And it touched my heart so very much. I loved it, I give it 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    First of all, I do not enjoy poems that lack punctuation.

    The poem is well written, but the only problem I have with it is that it focuses more on his hardships in lackluster detail.
    An idea like this should bloom into a tale, one that explains how he got where he is in detail, and gives more insight into the life of a dying child living on the streets. The details you give are very dull, and they make for a onto-the-next-one poem.

    I suggest maybe you try, on your free time, expanding the details of your poems, and adding punctuation.

    Despite the lack of anything making this poem wonderful, it was good. I am not going to give you some hoochy comment, but I am not going to kill your spirits. The poem, in all honesty, wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either. With some capitalization, some punctuation, and some adding and deleting, you would have a wonderful poem.

    You don't really need to work on syllabication, but just as a sidenote, there were a few errors but those are forgiveable =]

    "So the weaker he got and the more he grew slim" and also, it seems you got sidetracked and forgot where you meant to speak about, and it seems as if it remains unfinished.

    Good job though,
    5/5

    ~Stephen White

  • 16 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    Wow..That was just amazing, It was so sad, yet had a great point to it. The ending was just right to the point, and this piece was just penned so beautifully, Great Job,

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Wow. This was really sad, it made me cry, because the imagery was so powerful and the emotion was deep.
    The last line ended the poem perfectly!
    love Tara-Kay

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Oh my goodness..this is absolutely amazing... wow..i dont know what to say.... its just perfect..this is one of the best sad poems that i've ever read in a long time!! thats pretty dang good..lol...

    freaking amazing... wow lol im shocked....i love it. especially the ending..it was so strong and i love how you ended it with a question.

    well done.5/5 =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Miu

    Powerful poem, and very sad. The last line was just perfect. Really captured my mind. And made me think about the cruelty in the world(why the boy ended up in street first place). Really enjoyed reading it.
    5/5 Keep writing.

  • 16 years ago

    by ABake

    This peice was better. I liked the overall message. I felt as if the flow and ryhme was kind of forced. But other than that great job.

    Amber...

  • 16 years ago

    by JustKristina

    This one is freaking awesome!!!! i love it, it flows and the rhymes are amazing.. almost too good keep up the amaz-az-ing work!

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Oh holy crap.

    This was AMAZING.

    I don't even know what I could possibly say that would even begin to sum up how I feel about this piece...

    This was beautifully written, despite being relatively short you managed to pack in so much depth and emotion, and the imagery you portrayed in this was beautifully done, it created very vivid pictures in my mind.

    The flow was FLAWLESS throughout this piece, and that ending..oh wow. Filled with such intensity and power that it hits the reader like a slap in the face.

    This is just...wow. I love this. This is going into my favourite poems. Definietly.

    A beautiful write, with such a deep message behind the written words.

    Amazing work on this.

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Wallace,
    this poem was so very beautiful and so touching!
    I really loved it and you are very right...what kind of world do we live in, it sux!

    Best wishes,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    This is a really eye opener of a poem, loving the wording especially the end xxx alex xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Kenny

    T_T this one brings chills in me, you have a very sad and realistic message in this one, , great!

  • 16 years ago

    by Unamed

    Wow great job!!..it was soooo sad..almost made me cry!!!!
    umm i gave it a 5/5 b/c i totaly loved it..but i think ---just a suggesion-- that u can fix line 12 by saying
    "So he ended his misery hanging off a rope"...just a suggestion......great job tho!!!
    ***aLy***
    "