Comments : Posing on the Sea

  • 17 years ago

    by Vegetable

    I really love the 1st and last stanzas. They work very well together. The only thing is, some of the lines in the middle seem a little forced, like this one: "Where she thought she left all her pain." Maybe you could try reading the poem out loud, and re-arrange lines to sound smoother. This is a very good poem beside that, and I wish your friend well.