So interesting start and a sweet and hot contiune
You did a good wodk girl
Keep it up
Laura

AWwww, kinda sad but cute at the same time.
Very well done.
Keep up the great work!
God Bless 5/5
<3Tayyy

Explores my body
^ SHould be "explore"

Explores my body
Feeling his body heat against mine
^ I don't think you should use the word "body" twice, try and think of another word.

letting it shines
^ Should be "shine"

Awh, this was kinda sweet. The flow was a little bit off but that can be fixed up. The descriptions lacked detail a little but were still good. I found them to be lacking a little more towards the end but they were good at the beginning. The emotion was strong and clear. Nicely done. 4/5

Gurlfriend I don't know who told you that this poem was lame but the dead wrong! I really liked it. Yes it does need some tweeks here and there but overall it was good. keep it up and don't let nobody tell you no different.

take care,
Bethany

Awesome poem, like they said, a little tweeks here and there, but overall it was great!!