Comments : Breaking Apart A Perfect Life

  • 13 years ago

    by SmileeItsBritt

    This is very dark, but VERY well written. You provided a nice sense of feeling with your words!

  • 13 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Hmm it was ok. Not really my kind of thing because it contained far too many cliche words for me to really appreciate the meaning. Some words that I felt were cliche were "tears" (which you used often in this write) rhyming "heart" with "apart"...and "soul" "cutting" "killing" "screaming" and there may be more...
    The flow/meter was ok though I don't think there were any problems with that. So format wise it was good...I just weren't personally keen on the subject and wording.
    Thanks for sharing nevertheless.

  • 13 years ago

    by Curry

    Awhh this is real sad:[ but it was wonderfully written! it reminds me of my best friend in a way. i gace it a 5/5 because it is an amazing poem and i really enjoyed reading it.

  • 13 years ago

    by Startle Me

    This took me
    About three reads to understand.
    When all I had to do was
    Read your title.
    Lol.
    The flow was great.
    But the poem was a bit dry.
    It caught my interest
    But not a whole bunch.
    I know it's a poem and that
    Gramatical errors do not count but...
    Tears of regret linger on fraying pained skin
    Put a comma after fraying :]

  • 13 years ago

    by TheRevelation

    I thought the poem was wonderful, you are a superb writter, the rhyming went well when I read it, it flowed. A great read, 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Tammie

    I really enjoyed this poem. I think it was written very well. Quite flawless. The flow was perfect, as was the description. You are amazing at that. I could definately feel the emotion in this one. It's quite sad, and tells a good story. I love the first line, it was a great beginning, as was the end. Well done. =] 5/5

    Tammie

  • 13 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Well written. I loved your choice of words and the flow was good as well. Keep up the outstanding writing, you are very talented.

    Peace, Joe

  • 13 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Ah, wonderful. It was so painfully sad, yet that was good - I always look for strong emotions being conveyed in a poem, and I certainly got that here.

    Nicely penned.

  • 13 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    Grrr.
    I had a long comment typed out but then my stupid signal got lost and the thing was lost.

    Anywho, I loved this poem. A lot.

    Its not often you see a poem that has described everything so great using the perfect vocab.
    It really made the poem stand out.
    Its not vocab you can't understand, like some poets use.
    But its not extremely simple and boring.

    Your stanzas were packed with words yet you never lost flow. Well done.

    I loved this ;
    "Kissing him goodbye; fleeing with salty tears
    Pulling her down slowly; guilt clings to her heart "
    Something about it really made me go wow.
    "Guilt clings to her heart" <- that was my favorite line I've read in a while.

    Well done =]

  • 13 years ago

    by Angel Of Death

    I love this poem, its sad but still really beautifully written, i love how you worded it and everything.. its brilliant.. keep it up ;)
    xx

  • 12 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    The poem started well and ended perfectly...It flowed smoothly-Perfect!
    The choice of words was superb and suited the poem and added to te beauty...Sad yet it was well penned!
    Good job!
    5/5

    xxPoojaxx

  • 12 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    I love this, at some parts it was a bit off, but nothing too bad. The imagery was great, but try to refrain from using one word too many times in one poem..it throws it off. Anyways, I did like this, overall.

    5.5
    :]