Comments : Six Months Ago

  • 17 years ago

    by Untold Lies*Broken Promises

    Great love the rhyming in it its very deep tho theres this one line that doesnt run as well as the others it doesnt seem to flow as well

    Answer I did not
    Could only simply ignore

  • 17 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Oh, that poem was greatly writing. you have very talently expressed you feelings in a great way. so nice.
    i really like it and i think you are really talented. keep it up

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    Again, I did not like the opening line. It honestly did not make any sense at all. I'm sure it means something to you, but reading it, it means nothing to me. Two verses in a row you talk about locking yourself in a room, I didn't see the point. Your language seemed broken, and you seem to be lacking description. I also disliked the slang.

    "Stranger had a key to my door
    Caused me to use profanity"
    ['This' Stranger had a key to my door
    'and' caused me to use profanity]

    I'm not sure if it was this poem, or if you write like that in general, but I really don't follow it. I've seen your comments on other people's poetry, as if you knew what you were talking about. To be honest, I'm not quite sure you understand poetry all that well. For the most part, your writing is weak. However, you have a lot to write about, the deeper meaning in your poetry is there, you just don't know how to write it. I'm being completely honest with you. I'm not trying to put your poetry down, you can write, but you can't express yourself. That is what you need to work on. Your poetry has a lot of potential, I can see it in this poem. You are talking about a stranger coming into your life and changing it. I thought it was a great metaphor, when you talked about it as being at home. I shall read some more of your poetry to see what it's like. I hope you have something that will impress me. For now, keep reading and keep writing. You will find yourself maturing as a poet.

    Take care,
    (and don't take this too personally, I'm only trying to help)

    Darien

  • 17 years ago

    by Alex

    I like it. 5/5! sorry I'm bad at commenting haha I never know really what to say except if I like it or not.