Comments : Libby

  • 17 years ago

    by Marie

    Ok first that doesnt flow with the rest :
    I dont know what to do
    But my feelings for her are growing
    It would help alot if I knew she loved me to
    I even think of her in class so my grades are rapidly lowering

    I would reccomenD:
    I dont know what to do
    but my feelings for her are growing
    it would help if she loved me too
    and in my grades it's showing

    Ok next on that doesnt flow:

    Well this poem ends with me still in love,
    And wondering about her
    But not to worry I will tell you what happens with us
    Trust me I will write more

    not sure exactly how to fix this one... umm. maybe...
    The end of the poem, I'm still in love
    still wondering of her
    But no worries I'll tell what happens with us
    Of that you can be sure

    some reccomendations... dont have to follow them.. actually it's prolly btter if u didnt.. just kinda there to show yo some options.. meld it back into your style but make it flow a little and the poem would be perfect cuz the rest of it works really well.