That last line was brilliant; a great ending to this poem.

I realy liked the rhyming in this. It didn't seem forced, and the flow was consistent.

"The darkness shows our life's pain,
The agony we witness day after day,
Failing to be perfect, A mother's shame,
And those nightmares you'll never slay."

^ The first four lines are my favourite. I'm not quite sure why, but IMO they just stick out.

"Inside we're dying outside we smile,"

^ In this line I would have used a comma after 'dying'.

Overall - great job.

Aww this is a sweet poem but also a little sad. i defiantly liked this a lot. it's cute and it's soo true. excellent job on it. you are very talented. 5/5

~Kristina

''Inside we're dying outside we smile,''

I love that line...it hit me hard...so touching.

This again was beautifully written, very well expressed, and as I have been trying to write a sonnet for months now, I know how hard they can be, yet you have mastered this beautifully.

I particularly love the ending two lines, very hardhitting.

Superb expression of emotions in this poem, sad until the final lines when suddenly it gets happy, just like how love affects people in real life. Top drawer

This peice started well..n ended beautifully...loved it...cute...very sweet write...every word is well chosen n lines wel thoughtthe last line was great...i soo loved it!
Great work!

xxPoojaxx

I liked it, m'dear.
I thought it was interesting.
Most of the time that's true about love. =]
ily xxxx
5/5