"So maybe I'm a deeper shade of desperate,
But you're a darker tone of pathetic at best,"

Excellent couplet there, it was sharp and snappy and a brilliant come back,
I also loved the ending line, reminded me of Fall Out Boy =)
Well done!
5/5
*Gem*

This is a wonderful poem. I loved the way that it flowed. Keep up the good work. ^.^ *5/5*

Alyson

I attempt to loose myself in memories
But I'm cut with these shards of broken trust

So maybe I'm a deeper shade of desperate,
But you're a darker tone of pathetic at best,

^^^
My favorite couplets!
Some very deep thought and emotion went in to this piece and you've released it maturely through verse.
I really enjoyed the last line it had a definite air of "in your face attitude" to it ...

Have a wonderful weekend
Luanne

Wow. I really liked this. The title is what really pulled me into it. And then when I read it I was captivated from beginning to end. A few lines sounded like they were from a song..actually the whole poem did, so I liked that. One thing though, in the line, "I attempt to loose myself in memories" .. loose should be lose.

"So maybe I'm a deeper shade of desperate,
But you're a darker tone of pathetic at best,"

^^ Those lines were...wow..amazing, I loved them. =)

5.5

So maybe I'm a deeper shade of desperate,
But you're a darker tone of pathetic at best,

can I use that for my facebook header????
I really enjoyed this poem 5 forsure those two lines are just ....I dunno but I really like them kudos to you , keep it up :)

Hmmm you should look in the contest nominations :P

You've expressed feelings of pain, hurt and betrayal very well. I especially like:

Each smile that does lace your lips
and
So maybe I'm a deeper shade of desperate

Excellent poem superbly done. It was a joy to read from start to finish, love it, keep it up.