Comments : Brain Shadows

  • Such a powerful poem.
    It flowed well and the emotion was deep.
    Keep it up 5/5

    [Sarah]

  • 16 years ago

    by SunDown Sky

    Damn.. i have to add u as a fav author.. u're good indeed

    i love this part

    "As we talked we drunk the devils whiskey
    And he asked me if i felt blessed
    I've searched for comfort all my life
    And only found it here in death"

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    "Soring on the wings of an angel"
    - Soring = SOARING

    "The angels wings were burning
    And ashes drove us to the ground
    And as she took her last breath
    My demons pulled her down"
    [The angels wings were burning,
    ashes drove us to the ground
    And as she took her last breath
    my demons pulled her down]
    - You used and way too much in one stanza, took away from the purity/poeticness of it

    "They ripped my flesh from my bones"
    [They ripped away my flesh from bones]
    - Gets the point across without over using certain words. (my)

    The last stanza kind of confused me, but at t he same time it made sense. I would suggest going over it and maybe changing a few things to make it flow better. But, your poem is quite nice. I haven't read a really dark poem in a long time, which I liked. But, I'm still glad I read this. You did good with the emotional setting and the imagery.

    Kudos