Im not a huge fan of ABab structure but it flowed pretty good and I found nothing wrong with it, I liked your choice of words too :) keep it up

Hey...Great write!....Well penned!...The flow ws just great!...kp it up!
Tk care!
xxPoojaxx

"I barely remember the love of sol
How warm it was against my back
Greater taste than fresh fruit in a bowl
An exquisite thing in a pale shack"

Phelan is right, i think Sol would be a capital
Now this poem made me think a little. I noticed it in a contest i had entered and when i see a poem i like, i put aside any grudges i may have against the person and comment away.
I like the fact how the sun is associated with "Good" and the dark as "Pain", it's straight to the point and is something a lot of people would understand and agree on.
The similie was also a nice touch in the first stanza (fruit)

"Before my soul collapses and dies
Don't leave me to drown at sea"

A very intense couplet, excellent at showing the pure desperation (sp?) and maybe a little terror at being left alone?

"Look deep into these brown eyes"

Maybe a comma after 'look' to add effect
Overall, tough competition
Nice work
5/5
*Gem*

I think that sol should have a capital because its the name of a god.

I also think that there should be some sort of punctuation in the lines or something to help it flow better.

"Before my soul collapses and dies" wow I loved this line the use of the world collapses, was fantastic. The last stanza was my favorite I liked how you decided to make it two lines instead of four. It makes it stand out and adds a punch to the poem. It caught my attention and the line "where has my heart gone?" was so amazing, it concludes the poem while still leaving the reader thinking about it after they finish reading. And thats a very hard thing to do on this site with all of these poems but this one I will remember for a long time.

Nice work thanx for the request.

Look deep into these brown eyes
Please, say that you can find me
[[Oh. Damn.]]

I really liked it, espically the last stanza; nice touch. However, I really disliked the first stanza. It's a real killer. =/

The rhyming was beautiful and I didn't have a problem with the flow, so, nicely done.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Excellent piece with an awsome flow and nicely rhyming stanzas. Superb poetry 5/5

Excellent piece with an awsome flow and nicely rhyming stanzas. Superb poetry 5/5

Great choice of words, it has a wounderful flow.... keep up the good work

Good poem overall, I also wondered what was that sol and in the end I knew :) Thats good you mentioned. Kepp up the good work :)

Tc