Comments : Never Ending Dream

  • 17 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    I loved this,
    But in the line..
    "I'm mapping put my life with a pen- "
    put should be out, and a space
    between pen and the dash,
    would make it look a little neater.
    And in this line,
    "You may find this suprising,"
    suprising should be surprising,
    and in...
    "Based on lies and rust."
    rust is trust? Unless it's supposed to be trust
    which would make a lot more sense
    with this poem, haha.
    Anyways, I loved this poem Dear,
    5.5