Comments : Wont Allow Myself To Fall

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I have to say i really enjoyed this. I thought the ending was really inspirational. The emotion in this poem was clear and when reading the peom you expect the end to be about you cutting. The fact you dont - this is inspiring as many people can relate to this, and see themselves in this position maybe with a different end though. Ok i thought the title of the poem did kindof give away the end. So i suggest you change the title. The first stanza goes stright into the poem. You had a good rhyme scheme with the secoudn and fourth line of each stanza rhyming.
    This part of the poem is my favourite;

    "Heart beating triple
    Tears erupting like a flood."

    I loved the vocabulary in those two lines. It has strong emotion. To improve this poem i suggest you use punctuation and change the title. Otehr then thata good read. Keep writing! xx