I liked the ryhmes and structure of the poem, however; the flow wasn't that great. Overall it was a great write. Keep up the good work.

Peace, Joe

Your first poem?
wow i wish my first poem was even half compared to that.
It was good, Some things could have been changed.. maybe take out a couple "the's" but other than that it was good.
=]
5/5
xoxo
--Chelsey

Awww this piece is sooo sweet!!! it really made me smile and go 'awww' while i read it, it has a positive glow about it and it's a really really good piece :D
5/5
- ali x x x x x