Comments : Suicide girl

  • 16 years ago

    by Evil One

    Very nice peom, I can feel ur pain

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Such pain in this poem, but i like it. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Bloodstained

    I agree with Stephanie. I love it, 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Painfully sad. such an amazing write on such a cliche subject, perfectly penned, excellent flow. I liked this one the best so far 5/5 although I wish i could give you more.

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I enjoyed this. Its a poem many would call "cliche" but you pulled it off nicely. The title of the poem gives away the subject of the poem. And the first line, the "You may" makes the reader acctually wonder what this girl acctually is. You describe this "mask" that many suicidal people seem to where. And yes looking more closely is something that many people do not do even though they should. Maybe ecuase they dont want to look more closely. I liked your description in this, "dusty mirror of her heart," i think it describe suicidal depression excellently. And it kinda creates this image. Mirrors are usually clean, and shiny. Not dusty. The rhyme sceme of this poem was a little sketchy. And the last line i found was too long. Another thing i ddint like was your punctuation. You only use this strict strcture. Try using enjambent. That said the poem itself was really emotional. You used emotion and vocabulary to your advantage. Keep it up! xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    You explained this beautifully, i attempted something like this and i found it really hard to write. Your words come across so free and beautifully :D

    xxx alex xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Laybelled with a name

    I liked it alot!
    I liked the way you didn't capitalise most of the words, it makes you think of the 'suicde girl' as a young girl, and that can make it more sad.
    Loved the wording, some good discriptions in it, (can be found in every line)
    I liked it, very enjpoyible read.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Wow, you always impressed me with your poetry. Great job, wording is superb. I like topic the most and atmosphere that you created is incredible. 5/5