I loved the longing emotion in this poem it was expressed well. I enjoyed the feeling of doubt in yourself about the fella you wrote this for I was refreshing.

Try to stay away from pronouns.
They usually mess up the flow of writing.
It seems like an added ingredient
That doesn't need to be there.
If you erase it... It'd look like.

feel weak all the time,
can hardly breathe,
When I see you walk in,
first instinct is to leave.

I thought that just sounded better.
Hope it's just not me, though.

I just want to quit.
That seemed really forced to me.

All in all, it was okay.
It wasn't the best I've read in here.
Also wasn't the worst.
I give you a 4 m'dear :]

Well written...5

I think you did a great job on this, its something alot of peopel will be able to relate to, good job 5/5

I understand where you are coming from on this one. It's tough, keep up the wonderful writing:) 5/5

Wow... all your poems are great! Read together, they I felt as though you wrote each as part of a greater whole. Is this the case?