Comments : Dont Brake, Dont Burn. (my best to date)

  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Hmm. Interesting...

    "Brake" should be "Break" in the title as well as in the poem. The way you have it would be referring to 'brakes' on a car.

    "Dont" should have a ' to make it proper. "Dont" is short for do not...put the apostrophe in it.

    In the line...

    "Your all you got." 'Your' should be changed to "You're"

    "There Fake
    There blind"

    ^^ Change "there" to "they're" or "they are"

    Besides the spelling mistakes, it wasn't that bad, just fix those up.

  • 16 years ago

    by geeeeee

    Stay Trapped
    Stay caged
    Your all you got.

    At the end of the day, we only have ourselves to rely on. And sometimes we are the only person we can truly trust. Loved this poem.

    Take Care.

  • 16 years ago

    by Narphangu

    Best work?
    Maybe, it could be, after a little revision, and a spell check or two.

    I wasn't quite sure what you were getting at in it, though...