Comments : The Metaphors of my Heart

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I have to say i enjoyed this poem. Some may call it "cliche" as its about self harm. Yet i loved it. It was really unique. I love this entire idea of this metaphor. And your words are so meaningful. The title of the poem caught my attention. A metraphor of your heart? It made me think and i wondered what the poem was about. Then you opened the poem with ironically metaphors which describe how your feeling. The fouth line you kinda change direction of the poem. And you ask a question. Your asking yourself this question. But just by adding that you really add deapth to the poem. You sue alliteration with; "pain poured" this acctually creates an image of soemthing being poured but its pain. Its only then you talk about self harm. This is what i liek about this. The poem had a good flow and was quite enjoyable. To improve it i suggest you use a more varied punctuation as this will help the reader read the poem the way you want it to be read. But still keep it up! xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Oh, wow - O - wow!
    I love love love this. =)
    It was so unique & creative....
    The flow was flawless, the vocab. was great, & the emotions were so powerful.

    "Can't you see the metaphors of my heart?
    Can't you see the dripping blood?"

    Hun, ^^ that was wonderful! =) Keep writing! 5.5

    Stephanie Lynn .+.

  • 16 years ago

    by DeathlyAmore

    Practice makes perfect.

    I voted 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by anett

    Beautiful poem..theres so much detail and thats wat i love about this one the most. Keep writing about ur strong emotions!

  • 16 years ago

    by Lisa

    Greatwork,very poweful words
    keep it up!